My first thoughts about this film were surprisingly positive. "The Amityville Horror" was a movie classic, "The Amityville Horror 2" was...watchable, and "The Amityville Horror 3D" was...well at least it was in 3D! So as I stood in the store with a copy of "The Amityville Horror 4: The Evil Escapes" on VHS I thought "What the hell, how bad can it be?" Those words throughout my life have lead me to watching some of the worst films ever made! And did they do the same this time?...What do you think?
After sitting through the previews I was shown an opening title that really set the tone for the rest of the film. There was nothing but the words "Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes" crammed into a small blue box with a dull grey background! What the hell is this? The opening title should set the mood for the rest of the movie with some music or a short opening scene or something. "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Meyers" was a good example of this with its creepy music and quick flash of video of somebody cutting up a pumpkin. I'll let the title slide because this was a low budget made for TV movie from the 80's. I later found out that this is not in every version of the movie, The DVD version shows the Amityville house on a rainy night.
The movie's plot is ridiculous, The evil of the Amityville house possesses a floor lamp which is then sold at a garage sale and brought to a house in California. This is SO stupid! A lamp? Yeah that's plenty terrifying! I would have accepted a knife, or a shotgun. Hell, even a purple dildo would have been better for the spirit to posses! But a lamp? This leads to multiple scenes in the movie where there is a camera shot of the lamp flashing to intense elevator music! You can't take this seriously at all!
So a mom and her 3 kids (A rebellious teen girl, a pre-teen boy with a haircut that makes you think the barber was smoking crack while cutting this kids hair, and a young girl that See's her dead dad and holds conversations with his spirit) move to her mother mansion after her husband dies. Her mother just so happens to get the possessed Amityville lamp on the same day the family arrives. The evil lamp keeps fucking with the family by flickering the lights and turning on the radio. ooh! I'm frightened! This evil has really gotten tame! years ago it made a father run through his house with a shotgun blowing his families brains out and eventually making him turn the gun on himself! And now its messing with their electron
ics! Something relatively violent has to happen...right? Well of course! The spirit makes a kettle burn an old lady! ooh! I'm really cringing in fear now! Not good enough for you? Well guess what! The spirit puts a parakeet into a microwave oven and cooks it like it was toast! ooh! Sorry you mocked the lamp now? Actually, something I don't understand is that throughout the movie everyone says that the lamp looks really ugly yet they keep it in the living room! Makes sense? Too it's credit the movie has some graphic scenes including a plumber drowning in black waste and a guy getting his hand chopped off in a food processor!
After sitting through the previews I was shown an opening title that really set the tone for the rest of the film. There was nothing but the words "Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes" crammed into a small blue box with a dull grey background! What the hell is this? The opening title should set the mood for the rest of the movie with some music or a short opening scene or something. "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Meyers" was a good example of this with its creepy music and quick flash of video of somebody cutting up a pumpkin. I'll let the title slide because this was a low budget made for TV movie from the 80's. I later found out that this is not in every version of the movie, The DVD version shows the Amityville house on a rainy night.
The movie's plot is ridiculous, The evil of the Amityville house possesses a floor lamp which is then sold at a garage sale and brought to a house in California. This is SO stupid! A lamp? Yeah that's plenty terrifying! I would have accepted a knife, or a shotgun. Hell, even a purple dildo would have been better for the spirit to posses! But a lamp? This leads to multiple scenes in the movie where there is a camera shot of the lamp flashing to intense elevator music! You can't take this seriously at all!So a mom and her 3 kids (A rebellious teen girl, a pre-teen boy with a haircut that makes you think the barber was smoking crack while cutting this kids hair, and a young girl that See's her dead dad and holds conversations with his spirit) move to her mother mansion after her husband dies. Her mother just so happens to get the possessed Amityville lamp on the same day the family arrives. The evil lamp keeps fucking with the family by flickering the lights and turning on the radio. ooh! I'm frightened! This evil has really gotten tame! years ago it made a father run through his house with a shotgun blowing his families brains out and eventually making him turn the gun on himself! And now its messing with their electron
ics! Something relatively violent has to happen...right? Well of course! The spirit makes a kettle burn an old lady! ooh! I'm really cringing in fear now! Not good enough for you? Well guess what! The spirit puts a parakeet into a microwave oven and cooks it like it was toast! ooh! Sorry you mocked the lamp now? Actually, something I don't understand is that throughout the movie everyone says that the lamp looks really ugly yet they keep it in the living room! Makes sense? Too it's credit the movie has some graphic scenes including a plumber drowning in black waste and a guy getting his hand chopped off in a food processor! So sooner or later a priest that cleansed the Amityville house realizes that the lamp is evil and hunts it down! The priest gets the number of the lamps owner because of really trusting people on the streets that find it OK to give the phone number and address of their Friend to a complete stranger. He calls up the house but of course, the evil lamp will have none of this! So the phone hangs up any time the priest tries to call. When the priest finally gets to the house and everyone that inhabits it now knows its evil they try to fight it! Of course, The priest gives the lamp and the spirits that reside in it a holy ass kicking and just like that a spirit that has killed countless people is destroyed! What I don't get here is why the spirit couldn't just manifest a different item when the lamp was destroyed? But I guess this movie has no room for logic! Well of course, Happy ending for all! (Except the ones who are dead) The spirit is gone...or is it? Of course the spirit couldn't be dead after something as simple as that! At the last part of the movie a cute kitten jumps on screen! But you don't want to pet this pussy! For the last second of the film they just had to screw this movie up even more! The cats eyes gl
ow a dark red and the credits start rolling! I CAN HAZ EVIL SPIRITZ? Why the hell was that even necessary? So in the next movie a family is going to have to deal with a killer pussy? That is so stupid! I guess they gave a bullshit beginning and a bullshit ending!
So overall this movie has about as many redeemable qualities as the clap! If you want a classic tale of priest vs. lamp and don't mind being put through 95 minutes of piss poor acting and constant close up shots of a lamp, I would defiantly suggest this one.
THE GOOD: Acting can get pretty freaking hilarious at times!, Patty Duke!!!!
THE BAD: Piss poor acting, retarded plot, too many shots of the lamp!
Rating: 3/10
ow a dark red and the credits start rolling! I CAN HAZ EVIL SPIRITZ? Why the hell was that even necessary? So in the next movie a family is going to have to deal with a killer pussy? That is so stupid! I guess they gave a bullshit beginning and a bullshit ending!So overall this movie has about as many redeemable qualities as the clap! If you want a classic tale of priest vs. lamp and don't mind being put through 95 minutes of piss poor acting and constant close up shots of a lamp, I would defiantly suggest this one.
THE GOOD: Acting can get pretty freaking hilarious at times!, Patty Duke!!!!
THE BAD: Piss poor acting, retarded plot, too many shots of the lamp!
Rating: 3/10
